How come every time you come around....

My bladdy, bladder contents wanna come out....

John announced to me before that he was bringing sexy back, which is how we got onto the topic of what exactly does Fergie mean by 'London Bridge'?? Our conclusion = Bum Juice.

Which also reminded me of that stooopid ad on TV "whats your favourite part of my body?" Yeah, it's going to be the armpit - every time.

My favourite part of your body, is your belly-button. My lint-filled dream.

What is your favourite part of the body?? Is it the ear-hair, the space between the toes where "jam" can collect??

Or is it infact - the bottom. A regular supplier of juice.

Those mother-ballers don't know how to act....

Have You......

'Hasselhoff looks like a Rapist'

..... according to David Walliams (Lou) from Little Britain. Although I find the video rather creepy, and quite disturbing - I don't think I would have used the word rapist....

Little Britain star David Walliams has raised eyebrows by claiming David Hasselhoff "looks like a rapist" in his new music video - which depicts the former Baywatch hunk picking up random women in his car. The British funnyman made the comment after being told Hasselhoff's new song 'Jump In My Car', reached number three in the UK music charts. The video shows the ageing hunk kerbcrawling a group of girls, serenading one of them to join him in his car, before using the vehicle's ejector seat on the young girl when she refuses his advances. He says, "It looks like he's going to rape the woman in that video."

http://xtramsn.co.nz/entertainment/0,,12254-6435837,00.html

and check out the video here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ltE62fohrLY

Times they are a changing...

Yes kids, it's that time of the year - or that time of ones lifetime. It's the end of an era, it's the end of the semester, it's the end of university. Today I did a big-girl thing and booked Sparticus into a Cattery, and booked a moving company. So on Thursday, November 16th at 7am, the truck comes along and takes my shit, and moves it for me. Then I need to follow the truck in my wee car with my wee cat, to make sure they don't drop anything.

I can't believe we're nearly finished you guys!! Three years ago I was in my school uniform (a rather fetching green kilt and jersey) getting ready for bursary, then getting ready to move to a new town - in a new island!!! I've now been here for three whole years (managing to keep a cat alive for two of those years) and it's time for me to move on again. Now as much as I have campaigned to move away from Palmy, I have had some awesome times here - and despite the weather and location, my student years have been pretty booze filled and top notch (much of that thanks to you fullas).

So as we near to an end - I ask you to reminisce on your student years, and to share. It's not long now until we're adults in the big wide world with proper adult jobs. I don't ever want to grow up!!!

Now where is Sparticus so I can see if the fatty still fits her harness......

New Blockbuster Announced!!!

I don't know about you fools, but "I've had it with these motherfucking Camels on this motherfucking submarine!!"

This is why I don't eat vegetables

Because they look at me like this.

This cat is named Susie, and is a boy. So if that didn't fuck the cat off enough, his owner made him dress up as a pumpkin.

Now as much I think it would be funny to dress Sparticus up as a witch or a bat for Halloween, if she even thought about looking at me like this - I would burn the costume in front of her and sacrifice a neighbour to the ashes.

I was thinking about dressing Sparticus up as a New Zealand idol - just need to find a poo costume for cats.....

Ah Tiny Teddy's - Why do you look at me the way you do?

Ah yes, the childhood treat that I actually didn't eat as a child.

Now I think I have been doing pretty well attempting to branch out into this "healthy" food stuff, and going for walks etc But alas, while walking through the supermarket with Kendall, on that fateful Wednesday (that's yesterday for those of you playing at home) I saw them. On special for $1.99, and I had a $2 coin in my wallet.

So the packet of Tiny Teddy's came home with me, and whilst writing me script I have demolished the majority of the Tiny Teddy population.

They are my source of weakness.....

Within a space of 24 hours, the majority of which the box has not been in the same room as me - I would have finished off an ENTIRE box of Tiny Teddy's - I could probably do it in a sitting if it wasn't for that fat teddy (makes me feel guilty, especially as there is more of that teddy to eat).

And the worst thing is, over exams, there will probably be more Tiny Teddy boxes and packets demolished. Soon I'll have secret stashes hidden around my room, in my car, in my cat's fur!! I'll be begging in the streets for change to help my habbit - WHEN WILL IT END?!?!

But as I glance over, there is a happy Tiny Teddy looking at me, half covered in milk chocolate, and all I want to do is eat his face off, and kill his family....

Guys, I think I have a problem.....

If you have spare Tiny Teddy's , please send to:

Tiny Teddy's Anonymous
C/O Roslyn Lusty
(Please post on my blog and I'll send you the address)

Tuesday Trauma

Last night something traumatic happened to me. I feel a bit better about it today, better enough to talk about it....

I went to use the toilet last night (I needed to wee) but I soon realised a big reason why LIVING WITH BOYS IS NOT COOL. They leave the toilet window WIDE OPEN (for obvious reasons) and don't ever want to shut it. So when I turned the light on, A HUGE FUCKING MOTH FLEW IN THE WINDOW AND TRIED TO EAT MY FACE OFF!!!!! Now as much as I hate moths, I can handle one being in the room, and I have been known to even get rid of them all by myself - but when my bladder is full and a moth is trying to kill me, I tend to freak out.

I asked Luke to do the boy thing and get rid of it for me, but he said "spray it with the air freshener" which wasn't of any use because that was where the little creature from hell was flying. We did have some bug spray under the kitchen sink, so I sprayed the majority of the can on it (I felt kinda sorry for it dying slowly, so I sprayed more on it, which actually seemed to slow down the dying process....) but as it flapped around on the floor I could see the light reflecting off it's eyes, and they were BRIGHT RED. Straight from hell I tell you.

I don't know where it was this morning, I think Luke may have flushed it (no one wants something with beedy red eyes staring at you while you try to urinate). The only thing that would have made it worse, would have been if it was a spider - had it been a flying spider I probably would have wet myself and then died from terror, or called Richard Branson to take me to the moon where there are no spiders.